


You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Till It’s Gone

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asgardian Tony Stark, Childhood Friends, Courtship, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Loki/Tony Stark, Feels, First Meetings, Fluff, Jealous Loki (Marvel), Jealousy, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Minor Thor/Tony Stark - Freeform, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14925437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: Loki and Anthony first met when they were children, and centuries later they're still close. Anthony however, has gone a step beyond friendship and fallen in love with the prince.He never planned to do anything about it, but when someone else starts courting him, it changes everything. It might also prove to be the force that both Anthony and Loki need to realise exactly what staying silent about their feelings could cost them.





	You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Till It’s Gone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lexiee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexiee/gifts).



> Hello, one and all! We have a slightly long fic today that was a prompt by the lovely **Lexiee**. It has a theme you don't normally see in my writing but was rather entertaining to pen. It also got _long_ due, in part, to the surprising opening, but, I can't complain because it was so much fun to write!
> 
> This prompt was as follows:
> 
>  
> 
> _I adore your Asgardian!Tony works, and I’d like to read one where Thor is courting Tony (who is unable to turn Thor down as he is the prince as it would mean shame for his family and would ruin their weaponsmith forge business) but Tony has been in love with Loki since they were kids (who never knew he wanted Tony so much, until Tony had to turn his attention elsewhere). Angst, Loki trying his best (worst) tricks to change the situation around. Happy ending with Tony and Loki bonding (maybe a wedding? I’d cry), bonus points if Thor is also happy. I’ve been daydreaming about this storyline, Loki stumbling, unable to focus, lashing out on (the oblivious) Thor, and Tony trying to convince Thor that he’d make an awful bride (consort?), but only managing to make Thor laugh and like him even more._
> 
>  
> 
> It was given to me almost three months ago, so I'm really sorry for the wait! I hope you like it :D
> 
> FYI, I put Loki and Tony at the Asgardian equivalent of like, ten, when they meet :)

Anthony had been friends with Prince Loki since he was a child. They had met when they’d both been attempting to escape the training grounds and their fighting lessons. Anthony had wanted to return to the forge and its books on metalwork. Loki had wanted to return to his room and his books on magic.

They had found themselves squeezing into and sharing the same hiding space. Anthony had found it first, but Loki had squished his way inside when he’d heard his brother coming. The two of them had crouched together, quiet and with hearts thudding for long minutes, but when nobody found them, they’d started talking, pressed up together and whispering. They'd explained why they were hiding and quickly felt a sense of camaraderie over wishing to study rather than spar.

When they managed to escape without being caught, neither boy had rushed back to their intended destination, instead, they’d found themselves sitting in one of the shadowed barrack cloisters, talking about their studies and explaining what they found so fascinating about them. Loki didn’t know metalwork and Anthony didn’t know magic, but they were both intelligent and intrigued by meeting someone else their age who liked reading and learning, even if it wasn’t in a field the other knew much about.

They also spoke of other things - _childish_ things. They spoke about favourite foods, annoying tutors, the rules their parents laid down which they disobeyed. Loki even spoke shyly about some of his pranks but as Anthony giggled loudly and tried to smother his laughter, Loki became more energised and enthused.

They spoke for _hours_ and it was only when a frantic Einherjar found them that Loki realised he’d been ‘missing’ and Anthony realised that his new friend was the younger prince. Anthony had been uncertain what to do; while he was only a child, his father had still taught him what he was meant to do around royalty if he didn’t wish to disgrace his family or end up in the dungeons.

Anthony knew he had done everything his father had told him _not_ to do. He’d argued with Loki, he’d never called him by title, he’d laughed at him and he’d jokingly shoved the other boy. 

Anthony had felt terrified, the feeling only doubling when Loki had grabbed his wrist and ignored Anthony’s anxious expression and faint protests as he declared Anthony was coming with them to see his mother.

_The Queen._

Anthony had spent the entire walk back shrinking in on himself and trying to work out what to say to not end up in the dungeon and to not have his father find out what he had done. The walk felt like it took forever, but it was only a few minutes as Queen Frigga was waiting for them at the royal entrance to the barracks. She had two additional Einherjar with her and she let out a loud breath of relief when she saw Loki.

Loki just let go of Anthony’s wrist to dart forward and hug his mother, being pulled into a warm, loving embrace. It made Anthony, for a moment, wish he’d known his own mother and could bury himself in her arms where she could sooth his fears, but she had passed away when he was only a few years old, leaving him with no one but Howard.

“Loki, you _worried_ me,” the Queen chastised, pulling back and running her eyes over him, checking that he truly was unharmed. 

“I’m sorry, mother,” Loki apologised before he was turning and smiling incredibly brightly. “But I was with Anthony!”

The Queen’s gaze lifted and she was suddenly staring at Anthony; kind, curious eyes that Anthony knew would turn hard in a moment when she learned what he had done. She would turn angry just like Howard would turn angry the moment that they found out.

And suddenly, Anthony couldn’t keep his fear contained.

“I’m sorry!” Anthony blurted, wringing his hands and looking at the royals. “I-I didn’t mean to not call him prince, and, and, tell him he was wrong, and shove him and laugh, and, and-”

“What _are_ you talking about?” Loki asked, tilting his head curiously, but a worried frown was beginning to form. “You were... you were my friend? Do you not want...”

“Yes!” Anthony instantly started to say, moving forward as if to touch Loki before he stopped, conflicted. “N-No?” Anthony bit his lip, not knowing what to do. “I didn’t... father says and I didn't _know_ you were a prince and, and, I-”

“That’s enough,” the Queen interrupted, but her voice was calm and soothing as she placed one hand on Loki’s shoulder before walking over and placing the other on Anthony’s. “I think we need some time to calm down, hmm?” She raised her head and told the Einherjar. “Thank you for locating my son.”

They gave a nod, knowing they were dismissed and moving to return to their duties. The Queen just gently began to lead Loki and Anthony into the palace. 

Anthony had returned to wringing his hands, his heart thudding the further he went into the palace. He couldn’t look at Loki but he did nervously look up at the Queen. “Am... am I going to the dungeon?”

Loki scoffed. “Don’t be _silly_ -”

“Loki,” the Queen softly interjected, looking down at Loki as she told him. “Had the Einherjar believed Anthony’s words, that is exactly where they could have taken him.”

Loki’s eyes flew wide with shock and he looked between Anthony’s pale form and Frigga. “But he didn’t do any of it!” Loki held Anthony’s gaze and reached out, grabbing his arm. “I wouldn’t have let them take you!”

The adamant words had Anthony letting out a shaky breath and giving Loki a small smile, but it wasn’t enough to make him relax. Loki just squeezed his wrist and kept a tight hold on it as Frigga kept walking them through the palace until they were brought to her private entertaining rooms.

When they stepped inside, Anthony’s fear was momentarily overshadowed by his awe at the decadence and wealth that littered every corner of the room. It was a beauty Anthony had never seen before in his life. He was led through the room but barely noticed he was moving as he swivelled his head and tried to take everything in. He was eventually told to sit on a settee with Loki sitting close beside him and still gripping Anthony’s arm. 

Frigga only left them alone briefly in order to call for a servant before she returned to the two nervous boys, trying to repress a smile as she took a seat in the chair beside them. “Now, how about you both tell me what the two of you have done this afternoon?”

Anthony chewed on his lip anxiously, but Loki instantly started answering, recounting their escape from the training grounds, their conversations and arguments, prompting Anthony to speak if only to correct Loki and hotly disagree with Loki’s explanations of his metalwork. They ended up bickering again, Anthony rolling his eyes and Loki shoving him in the side and only stopping when Frigga let out a soft laugh.

They both glanced over, finding her fingers pressing to her lips as if she’d been attempting to smother her chuckles. Anthony just felt embarrassed and nervous again, but she quickly leant forward and took his hand, patting it softly in assurance. “You don’t need to be worried, Anthony. Your father is speaking the truth about how you should act around the royal family, _but_ ,” she insisted when Anthony’s shoulders hunched, “he does not take into account how _friends_ interact with one another.”

Anthony bit his bottom lip again, glancing between Loki’s hopeful face and Frigga’s soft one. He was still unsure, but he was _hopeful_ as he quietly asked, “It’s... it’s allowed when I’m friends with Loki?”

“It certainly is,” Frigga agreed, squeezing Anthony’s hand and looking at him with bright eyes and a tender smile.

“ _See_ ,” Loki insisted, still smiling. “Stop being silly.”

Anthony made a face at Loki and shoved him in the arm, but Loki just laughed at him. Anthony was planning to complain but he was stopped by a knock on the door. Frigga called for them to enter and Anthony’s eyes widened as a young woman brought in a tray filled with biscuits, sugared drinks and other things Anthony rarely ever encountered.

The servant placed down the tray, bowed and quickly left the room. Loki just brightly thanked his mother before picking up a goblet and taking a sip. He also pointed to one of the pastries Anthony had never seen before. “That’s the one I was telling you about. You have to try it!”

Anthony darted his eyes to Frigga, but she just smiled encouragingly and Anthony hesitantly took it, taking a bite and closing his eyes on the sweetness of honey, sugar and a flavour he’d never tasted before but Loki said came from an Alfheim fruit. When he opened his eyes again, Loki was already making a small pile on the tray that Anthony was meant to try next. Frigga was sipping from her own goblet and smiling at them both.

It still took a few minutes for Anthony to relax and forget his nerves, trying the sweets Loki suggested and making a face when he tried a _disgusting_ one. Loki laughed at his face and told him that he had bad taste if he didn't like it. Anthony proceeded to complain Loki was the weird one for enjoying such a horrible food. They giggled, they talked and Frigga watched them with bright eyes. Anthony had been having the best time, kicking his legs on the seat along with Loki and talking about Loki’s magic books that he wanted to show Anthony, but when there was a knock at the door, things changed.

Anthony hadn’t paid much attention initially, not until he smelt _ash, metal, smoke_ and heard the familiar sharp footfalls of his father. Anthony snapped his head to the side, feeling himself go rigid as Howard was let into the room. Howard was keeping his focus on the Queen as he lowered to the ground, bowing low before her.

“Queen Frigga,” he greeted, and even when she dismissed the Einherjar and gave him permission to rise, he still remained on his knees. He did raise his head, but only to apologise, “I am sorry to have inconvenienced you. If my son has trespassed in the palace I-”

“No, not at all,” she interrupted gracefully. “My son and yours are rather fond of each other. I knew you must be worried about Anthony and wished to allay your fears.” She sent Anthony and Loki a wry smile. “Although, I do believe this will not be the first time they will sneak away from their lessons to spend time with their friend.”

Howard’s eyes were wide as he moved from Frigga to Anthony and Loki. His shock only lasted a moment before he blinked and in its place was a good-humoured smile that Anthony often saw his father bestow on customers at the forge. “While I am not pleased to hear he was avoiding his training again, it is nice to see him with a friend,” he sent her a charming smile. “He is a bright boy, but that often finds him in solitude.”

The Queen gave him a knowing and slightly sad smile. “A sight I know well.”

“Perhaps we can arrange times for them to spend together?” He turned and raised his eyebrows pointedly at Anthony. “In _reward_ for completing their lessons.”

Anthony gave a hurried jerk of his head, hearing the demand in the man’s words. “Yes, father.”

“Loki?” Frigga enquired softly.

The prince gave a slightly unhappy sigh, but he still nodded. “Yes, mother.”

Frigga turned back to Howard and suggested, “I shall see what can be arranged and speak with you tomorrow?”

“Of course, my Queen,” Howard agreed, bowing his head again. 

She was smiling when he looked up. “And as much as I have enjoyed meeting Anthony, Loki does have studies he has neglected today.” 

She turned back to Loki who had slunk back into the furniture slightly, a pout on his lips. She just raised her eyebrows at him and Loki grumbled under his breath for a moment before looking at Anthony with a sad smile. “Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Anthony bit his lip, wanting to see the other boy, but unsure what his father would allow. He eventually looked away from Loki, putting down the goblet and standing from the couch. 

“Maybe,” he answered quietly before moving to stand by his father. Anthony flicked his eyes to the Queen who was watching him with a sudden sharpness to her gaze. “Thank you for the food and drinks, Queen Frigga.”

“You’re very welcome, Anthony,” she assured him.

It was only a few moments later that Howard was standing, bidding the Queen and Loki farewell and leading Anthony out with a hand to his shoulder. The gesture, unlike the Queen’s soft, comforting touch, was firm and forceful. It kept Anthony’s back straight and his heart racing with nervous fear as they were led out of the palace with the help of the Einherjar.

Anthony waited until they were back on the familiar streets of Asgard’s capital and making their way home.

“F-Father?” Anthony whispered, uncertain about his reaction now that they were alone.

Howard glanced down at him, the warmth that had been present while they were in the Queen’s quarters had long disappeared, leaving only coldness and calculation in its place. 

“He is not the preferred prince,” Howard told him, confusing Anthony greatly, “but it’s a good start.”

The words stunned Anthony and made him fight down on a smile. He didn’t know how, he hadn’t even _meant_ to, but in that one moment, Anthony had the wonderful sense that he had actually made his father _proud_. And it made Anthony hope that maybe, just maybe, he _would_ be able to see Loki tomorrow.

* * *

The feeling of triumph Anthony felt at pleasing his father changed as Anthony got older. 

He realised that Howard only saw Loki as a stepping-stone to Thor. Anthony _also_ realised that Loki had never had a friend all his own, and that Loki coveted him greedily because of it. The handful of times Anthony had met Thor and the blond prince’s friends during the first few years of his friendship with Loki, the younger prince had been quick to drag Anthony away, to seclude them with books in the prince’s rooms and far from Thor’s sight. Anthony hadn’t minded, Anthony hadn’t even _noticed_ he was doing it, not until Thor had invited Anthony to spar and he had agreed.

Anthony hadn’t known Loki had seen them, Anthony hadn’t known Loki had _cared_ , not until he went to visit the mage the next day and found Loki scowling and furious - not until they argued and Loki eventually grabbed his wrists and yelled, “ _You’re **my** friend! You can’t... you **can’t** pick him over me, Anthony!_ ”

Anthony’s eyes had flown wide at the genuine fear and desperation in Loki’s voice and before he could think about it, Anthony had shaken off his friend’s hold on his wrists in order to pull him into a tight hug. They were still young and Anthony was still far too unaware of why his heart was thudding and his stomach was twisting and why it meant so much that he promised the other boy, “ _I’d never pick Thor over you, Loki. You’re always going to be the one for me._ ”

Loki had all but melted into Anthony’s hold and held him back fiercely. “ _You’re **my** friend_ ,” Loki still told him, almost viciously. “ _You’re not allowed to have anyone else._ ”

Anthony had laughed and shook his head. “ _I’m going to have other friends, Loki_.” The prince made an agitated sound, so Anthony pulled back and promised with a lopsided smile. “ _But I’ll always like you the most._ ”

Loki seemed to debate it for a moment, but in the end, he gave a grudging nod, accepting the compromise. 

Anthony just gave him one more quick hug before pulling back and taking Loki’s wrist in order to drag him towards Loki’s bookshelf and the tomes they had been reading the last time they’d been in the mage's rooms.

It was only in years to come, decades and _centuries_ in the future that Anthony would remember and replay that moment more than any other. The moment where, unbeknownst to his childhood self, Anthony had not only made a self-fulfilling prophecy but utterly damned himself in a single motion.

 _I’ll always like you the most. You’re always going to be the one for me_ ; the words that had proven true in more ways than he’d ever understood in those early days of their friendship. Because Anthony _did_ like Loki the most, or rather, he loved Loki the most out of anyone in all the Nine Realms. He had fallen in love with his friend, and even after realising it _decades_ ago Anthony was still trying to come to terms with the sheer monumental _stupidity_ of doing it. 

Most of the time, Anthony just did his best not to think about it. 

They were both different men from the boys they had once been and while they were still incredibly close, they had both learned to trust less, mask their expressions and emotions, lie seamlessly, recognise the manipulations of others and boldly ignore those who would try to sever their friendship.

It was those many trials in their youth that had not only strengthened their friendship but had helped Anthony hide his growing affections for the prince. He did believe that Queen Frigga knew; she was adept at reading the emotions of others and she had known him since he was a young, shy boy fearful of losing his new friend. It sometimes made it hard for Anthony to meet her gaze when he was speaking with her, but at least he knew she wouldn’t tell Loki.

The truth was, Anthony was managing fine. He hid his feelings from Loki, he avoided spending time with his father (who still wished for him to have better aspirations than friendship with the _second_ prince), he worked on the commissions he received at his forge and he spent every spare moment socialising, researching and travelling with Loki.

Things could not have been more perfect - and that was probably why things decided to change.

Anthony hadn’t known what was occurring, not for a good few days. He’d never spent much time with Thor beyond the antics of youth and occasional polite chatter at court. Anthony had always spent his time with Loki, very rarely joining the mage when he was with his brother. 

And perhaps it had been unconsciously done as children with Loki’s need to have something and someone all to himself, but he and Thor had ceased to socialise and never rekindled that association - not until the Crown Prince had walked into his workshop and declared that he wanted an axe.

Anthony had been surprised at the sudden declaration but hadn’t let it bother him as he begun to discuss exactly what the prince wanted, which Anthony quickly realised was to mimic a Vanaheim axe but to add an Asgardian handle. It was a request that made little sense to Anthony, but knowing the prince’s stubborn nature he had agreed.

Thor, however, had been impressed by his easy grasp of what the prince wanted when two other weaponsmith’s hadn’t understood him. The prince had then started to talk with him in earnest about other weapons, taking almost an hour to even remember that he knew Anthony from the court and had sparred with him in his youth.

Anthony had mostly been counting the minutes until the prince had left, and had politely but absently waved him off when he did finally depart. Anthony had then turned back to his commissions with very little thought as to the prince’s presence.

When he returned the next day to enquire after his axe, Anthony had just been grateful he started on it the night before, knowing it would be a simple job. The prince spoke with him for another hour, inviting him out for a tankard at the tavern. Anthony had thanked the prince but declined, sighting his various commissions.

It was the following day, that things started to... click for Anthony.

He had been sketching the designs for a new breastplate when Thor had come into his forge, the blond’s presence beginning to become a familiar sight. Anthony had just placed down his quill and turned to grab the axe he had finished earlier, hoping to encourage the prince to be on his way.

Thor’s face had brightened as he took and examined it, praising it for its craftsmanship and for being exactly what he wished for. The compliments had made Anthony smirk with pride and pleasure, but that expression had been wiped clear from his face when Thor had said his next words.

“I propose a meal!” The prince grinned at him with charm and confidence. “An Aesir of character, honour and beauty; a fine companion for an Asgardian prince!”

Anthony knew that Thor had a reputation for conquering; be it in sparring, hunting or _laying_. Thor saw something he wished to have and so he took it; most women (and the occasional man) were more than willing to be the lover of Prince Thor, whether it be one night or a dozen. Anthony however, was not one of those people.

Leaving aside a lack of physical attraction to the other man, leaving aside they had _nothing_ in common; Anthony was already in love with someone else and the thought of being with Thor felt like a physical betrayal of Loki. It didn’t matter that the mage knew nothing of Anthony’s affections - it didn’t matter that Loki might _never_ know. Anthony would only ever choose one Prince of Asgard, and it wouldn’t be this one.

“Thank you for the honour, Prince Thor,” Anthony answered carefully, “but I am afraid I must decline.”

Thor’s face looked almost comical in its confusion. He blinked a few times, seeming to not be able to understand what was being said to him. “You... declined?”

Anthony gave him a slightly tight smile. “I wish you luck in finding another companion for your evening, although, I am certain that there will be many who would delight in your offer.”

Thor’s frown only deepened, but thankfully, his infamous temper didn’t appear. “You are committed to another?”

 _How I wish it were so_ , Anthony thought, his mind flashing to green eyes, black hair and a wicked smirk that always stole the breath from his chest. But he knew he couldn’t lie, not without fear of being discovered. “I... have no such commitments.”

“Ah,” realisation alighted in Thor’s eyes, but what exactly he believed, Anthony couldn’t guess at. “You are a man of honour and devotion. A fine thing to be!” Thor nodded softly, his eyes coming to the axe which he touched softly and with admiration. “A fine thing to be.”

Anthony was still half-expecting Thor to become offended or enraged, but he merely thanked Anthony and paid for the axe, continuing to eye him with strangely contemplative eyes before turning and leaving the smithy. 

The moment the prince had left, Anthony let out a surreptitious and incredibly relieved breath. He also scrubbed a hand over his face and almost wished he could tell Loki about the strange turn of events. Anthony knew better, however, the last thing he wanted to do was to incite Loki’s jealousy only to feel the hollow ache of knowing it would never be for the right reasons.

Sighing, Anthony made himself shake off the melancholy to focus back on the breastplate he was designing; with any luck, he would be able to finish early and visit Loki tomorrow. The mage had been isolating himself for the last week to perfect a complicated spell and hadn’t let anyone into his chambers. He was supposed to be completing it tonight and Anthony was already yearning to see the other man again. He just had to make it through one more day.

* * *

Luckily for Anthony, the time past swiftly as he got lost in his designs, not even noticing it was late evening until his stomach was grumbling and the candles he’d absently lit were on their last inch of wick. 

Anthony made himself tidy his work area and eat a quick meal before climbing into bed. He slept in slightly, but was still up early enough to see the warrior regarding their breastplate and approve the design. Anthony had then planned to close his shop early for an extended lunch in order to visit and share the meal with Loki, but it was as he was fixing his shirt and hair that the front door of his smithy opened.

He’d been in the adjacent room and had cursed before hurrying out to inform the customer to come back in a few hours, but he froze just inside the threshold of the room when he found the visitor was Thor.

The blond prince was dressed handsomely with finely tailored clothing that accentuated his muscled physique. His hair was even elegantly combed back from his face. He grinned when he saw Anthony and began to speak without hesitation, “I have thought on your refusal. There has been no man or woman to reject me in such a way.” Thor raised a hand as if halting a protest that Anthony hadn’t offered. “But this speaks to me of your honour and character. It has been thoughts of you that has kept me preoccupied long into the night.” He shifted ever so slightly in order to better face Anthony as he declared, “And I have decided, Anthony Howardson, that you are a man worth the effort of pursuing.”

“I... huh?” Anthony murmured, staring at the prince and unable to process what was being said.

Thor’s grin became brighter and wider. “I must prove my worth as not just a prince and warrior, but as a lover!” His stance became tall and proud; a confident man assured of his goal. “This shall be a challenge worth the undertaking! From this day, Anthony Howardson, I shall be courting you!”

Anthony’s eyes flew wide and he felt like all blood had drained from his body, leaving him numb. 

_No_ , his brain whispered with horror, yet Thor took no heed of his silent plea.

“I know you are a man of tradition,” Thor told him. “I have spoken with your father and gained his approval.” Thor looked proud of himself. “Tonight, we shall dine at the Boar and Snipe! A fine meal, for a fine man!”

Anthony gaped at him, trying to speak but no words coming out. His mind was panicking, rushing through options and coming up with nothing, _nothing_ to say when all he wanted to blurt was; _No! Stop! I’m in love with your brother!_

But Anthony had no claim to Loki or to anyone else. He had no excuse or reason to refuse Thor, not when to so blatantly reject him after Howard-- _and damn the old man to Helheim for it_ \--had given permission. It meant that any denial of Thor without seeing him for at least three official courtship outings would be an affront to Thor and to the royal family.

He had no choice but to let it play out. He had no choice but to let Thor take him on three outings. He had no choice but to let the whole of Asgard know that Thor was courting him - including Loki.

“The Boar and Snipe it is,” Anthony answered, trying to inject something other than hollow dread into his voice.

Whether he managed it or not, Thor didn’t seem to notice. He was cheer personified as he announced, “I shall find you here at sunset.” He gave a small, courtly bow. “I shall leave you to your work, Anthony.”

Anthony gave a bow back on instinct, his mind still feeling like it was in a cloud - or a nightmare. He watched Thor leave with a spring in his step before Anthony stumbled his way over to a nearby stool the moment the prince was out of sight. The moment Anthony was seated, he put his elbows on the table and buried his head in his hands.

_What am I going to tell Loki?_

And possibly more importantly; how was he going to survive three courtship outings with a man he had nothing in common with and who he couldn’t dare to offend? 

_How will I reject him when our three outings are completed without confessing that it’s his brother that I want?_

Anthony groaned softly into his hands and wished he had a very strong, very large drink he could drown himself in.

* * *

Sadly, Anthony didn’t have the option of liquor not when Thor was known for being unable to keep secrets.

If Loki was going to find out that Anthony was courting his brother, it would be better if it could come from Anthony and be explained as a _no other options_ situation. It meant that Anthony was hurrying to the palace not long after Thor had left. 

Although Anthony knew it was too early for the populace to know of what had transpired, Anthony still felt as if he was being stared at as he walked with his head slightly down and his stride purposefully. He was desperately hoping he wouldn’t run into Thor or any of his friends, and thankfully, luck seemed to be on his side as he made it to Loki’s rooms without interruption or distraction.

When he knocked on the door, it was quick to open, Loki’s grin the first thing he saw and making a part of Anthony's chest just _ache_ with affection even as a tired smile pulled at his mouth. A small furrow formed on Loki’s brow at Anthony’s expression as he gestured the other man inside.

“You look weary,” Loki stated simply. “Has your forge been particularly busy?”

“In a way,” Anthony avoided as he stepped further into the room and breathed in the comforting scent of _Loki, childhood memories, books_ and _happiness_. “How have you fared with your spell?”

Because if Loki didn’t yet know, Anthony would much rather delay the inevitable.

“Successfully mastered,” Loki answered with a triumphant, self-satisfied smirk. It was a look that Anthony always coveted; the moments where Loki was full of pride and glee at his success; the feeling not yet battered by his father or brother’s disapproval and disinterest.

“I’m glad to hear it, but hardly surprised,” Anthony teased him softly. “A greater magic-user Asgard has never seen.”

Loki preened under the praise, his good mood only growing stronger as he stepped further into his room and dropped down on a chair. He sprawled elegantly, his body open and relaxed and making Anthony look away from the attractive sight as he took his own seat on the settee. 

“And what of you, Anthony, what has occurred this last week?” Anthony stiffened slightly, unable to help it. He knew that he needed to speak to Loki, but he didn’t want to break the light-hearted atmosphere around them - and perhaps Loki sensed some of his anxiety, as before Anthony could speak, Loki was abruptly offering him a distraction, “But perhaps that can wait for an entertaining story I have?”

Loki was smirking with amusement, but there was still a sharp concern in the mage’s eyes that warmed Anthony. It made him give a small, grateful smile as he grasped the change of subject with both hands. “What is the story, Loki?”

Loki didn’t hesitate to begin even if the continued worry for Anthony never faded from his gaze as his eyes travelled over Anthony. “I was forced to attend breakfast in the Great Hall this morning,” Loki told him, his voice quickly filling with exasperation. “I was dragged by Thor, the oaf excited about my return from seclusion.” Loki rolled his eyes, but where the mage found humour, Anthony suddenly felt dread, having a horrid suspicion as to where Loki’s story was turning. “He also wished to avail me of the new ‘beauty’ he had discovered.” Loki made an absent gesture with his hand. “Obviously some new Aesir he wishes to rut with, but this one! _This one_ ,” Loki let out a loud bark of laughter, “he has decided to court! After barely knowing them!”

Anthony sucked in a shaky breath, staring at Loki as his friend shook his head incredulously. “What a fool. Obviously this person is merely using more wit than the others to gain more from Thor than a night in his bed-”

“Loki,” Anthony rasped out.

The mage just made another dismissive gesture and answered wryly, “Yes, yes, not all Aesir are dishonourable and wicked like us. I'm sure they would never _think_ of being so underhanded.”

“Loki,” Anthony tried again.

“But Thor is still a fool,” Loki insisted, ignoring him, “and this initial rejection is merely clouding his judgement. After all, what about them could _possibly_ be so bewitching that Thor would even think to-”

“It’s _me!_ ” Anthony shouted, stopping Loki dead in his tracks, wiping all emotion from the prince’s face and making Loki look at him with intense, narrowed eyes.

“ _What?_ ” Loki demanded frostily.

Anthony found he couldn’t hold the mage’s gaze, staring down at the intricate rug underneath his feet as he made himself answer - as he finally put the truth into words. “Thor is courting... _me_.”

There was a long moment of complete silence, the tension thick enough to choke on before the mage’s low, emotionless voice was heard. “What an eventful week you have had. Tell me, Anthony, how long has it been your plan to court my _brother?_ ”

Anthony’s head jerked up to look at the other man. Loki’s eyes were cold, his jaw clenched and his hands twitching as if he wanted to curl them into fists. 

“If you have to ask me that,” Anthony told him, anger barely kept from his voice, “clearly you have never _once_ paid me any attention.”

Loki glanced away, his teeth grinding, and the single show of Anthony’s point having been made. It took Loki almost a minute before he turned back, some of his anger cooled for a fresh and less emotionally clouded calculation. “He simply took a sudden notice in you, did he?”

“I crafted him an axe, he was impressed. I then refused his offer for an... evening in his company.” Anthony gave a tense shrug. “He returned with a wish to court me.”

Loki was frowning at him something confused and frustrated and faintly disturbed. “And you told him _yes_?”

Anthony knew he couldn’t lie but it didn’t make it any easier to admit as he gave a sharp nod. A moment later his hands were coming to his hair, rubbing through the strands and wishing he could scrub away this whole experience and the oppressive weight of Thor’s courtship.

“Why did you agree?” Loki demanded, his voice still free from the warmth Anthony usually associated with it; the warmth that always brightened Anthony’s day. It now caused Anthony's heart to fall to see the many walls his friend was suddenly placing between them. “Why did you not tell him _no?_ ”

Anthony laughed bitterly and looked over at his friend. “My father gave permission for the courtship, Loki. I am unattached. He has ever right to court me and I have no grounds for refusing him.”

_No grounds I can admit too, and nothing I can do until after my third outing with him, where I somehow have to reject the Crown Prince without ending up in the dungeon._

“Why did not you _lie_?” Loki asked, sounding frustrated and confused. “Why would you even allow that oaf the chance to win you?” He scoffed. “Did your tongue tie into a knot? Or did you,” and his voice became a sudden, vicious hiss, “deep down, always _hope_ Thor would grant you his attention?” Anthony snapped his head up to look at his friend; poison green eyes boring into him. “Consort to the Crown Prince, _ruler_ of Asgard, oh, what a lovely little bejewelled lover you could be, Anthony.”

Shock filled Anthony first, but it was quickly burnt away by pure fury and _hurt_. A part of Anthony knew that Loki was lashing out, that he was angry and upset. He also knew Loki had never been able to curb his jealousy or possessive behaviour when it came to his brother - but the words still cut into Anthony, both the show of distrust and the thought that Anthony could _ever_ want anyone who wasn’t Loki.

Anthony was also frazzled, conflicted and miserable about the situation he was caught in; in love with one brother but gaining the interests of the other. His desires and affections, they were unknown to Loki, _unwanted_ by him. Anthony was Loki’s friend and nothing more, but to be told that Loki doubted him now? To not have Loki’s trust or his willingness to hear Anthony out? It made Anthony _retort_ , with harsh words that were aimed to hurt.

“Well Thor is the most _desired_ prince, is he not?” Loki reared back, looking as if he’d been physically struck. “It is not as if I have spent _centuries_ cultivating a friendship with you. It is not as if I long promised _you_ my friendship instead of _him_. But, of course, it was merely a secret attempt to make Thor seek to court me _through never associating with him_.” 

Anthony scoffed and stood, too agitated to remain sitting. “It is not as if it would bring shame to my family, dishonour my name and that of my father’s to outright refuse a royal courtship. It is not as if I sought to tell my friend in person, to gain his advice on how best to navigate three outings with his brother!”

He turned and glared at his wide-eyed, wincing friend. “But no, perhaps you are _right_ , perhaps the bejewelled lover and consort of Prince Thor would be a greater place to find myself. Perhaps I have spent _centuries_ with you only to realise upon three outings with Thor that he was all I wanted and needed! Perhaps I will accept him, love him, _marry_ him - perhaps I will become your _brother_ , and spend my life on Thor’s arm and in his _bed_.”

The moment he was done, Anthony was tearing his gaze away from the turbulent green eyes of his friend. Anthony let out a harsh, frustrated and pained breath; for his spitted words had been a double-edged knife. He had attempted to draw guilt and force realisation on his friend, but all he had done was pain himself with the knowledge that the heartache of him choosing another was an agony only he would bear.

It found him moving away completely, stalking for the door, unable to abide another moment in the mage's presence. He heard the ruffle of fabric and scrap of the chair as Loki hurriedly stood before calling after him, “Anthony! Wait!”

But Anthony didn’t even turn to look at the mage as he grabbed the handle of the door, pausing only long enough to tell him, “No, Loki. I am done.” He closed his eyes. “And I have a courtship to prepare for.”

He didn’t wait another moment, opening the door and stepping outside. He didn’t slam it shut, but it was a near thing. Anthony hurried to make his way down the hall to avoid being stopped, but in the end, he could have taken a leisurely stroll, because one way or another, Loki didn’t make any attempt to follow or to catch him.

* * *

The evening came around too fast. 

Anthony had spent the day desperately attempting to find a way out of the courtship, or at best, a way to make Thor decide he was not someone worth courting. 

Anthony also tried not to think about the ache in his heart over how he had left things with Loki.

His father had enough sense not to visit him at least, although a letter did arrive laden with instructions on how he was meant to behave while courting Thor. Anthony’s upper lip had curled as he read the directions, only getting halfway down them before he was throwing the letter into the fire of his forge.

It didn't mean Anthony was unaware of his obligations. It was what had him dressing nicely and sitting on a stool in his smithy, ready and waiting for the knock on his door. The Crown Prince didn’t disappoint, arriving exactly when he said he would and dressed in more finery than Anthony had ever seen Thor wear outside of court.

“Anthony!” He greeted loudly, coming towards him and bowing gallantly. 

Anthony repressed a grimace, stood, and bowed in response. The moment he had straightened, Thor was offering his arm and Anthony hesitated for only a moment before accepting. Thor was quick to begin leading him out of the smithy, pausing long enough for Anthony to lock the door before they were on their way to the Boar and Snipe.

Thor was talking animatedly. He also asked about Anthony’s day, but Anthony was quick to direct all topics back to the prince who was happy to speak at great length about himself, particularly his battle prowess and his popularity amongst his friends and the Asgardian populace.

Anthony was doing his absolute best to ignore the glances and whispers the two of them were receiving. Anthony knew, within hours, he would be the talk of Asgard as people tried to understand what he had done to catch Prince Thor’s attention.

Anthony was highly considering closing his forge for the next week and escaping to Alfheim the moment the courtship was over. He had a few friends there; hopefully they would be willing to hide him as he weathered the storm of Asgardian gossip.

...That or he would end up thrown in a cell for refusing and angering the Crown Prince.

The thought only made Anthony feel drained, and when they finally arrived at the tavern, Anthony could only summon a strained smile as the prince led him to a private table in a lantern lit corner of the Boar and Snipe.

They were quick to be served and Anthony couldn’t help a small pang as he imagined what it would be like sitting down to dinner with another prince, with _his_ prince; his gorgeous, witty, sarcastic Loki who would never choose a loud, boisterous tavern. Loki would order a private dinner in his chambers or take Anthony to a quiet, secluded part of the forest where they could speak at leisure and without fear of being disturbed. 

Loki would know exactly what Anthony would want for his meal and they would tease each other for their differing choices. Anthony would then steal a vegetable from Loki’s plate just to make the mage give him an indignant look and steal something from him in return.

Thor, by comparison, did _not_ know what Anthony liked, nor did he seem to care. The food was decided on and Thor’s attention was quickly drawn back to his discussion about his many brave feats. He was attempting to impress Anthony, but his choices were doing little to engage Anthony. Whether Thor noticed or merely ran out of exploits to recount, he suddenly asked, “What of you, Anthony? Have your days been spent within your forge, or have you used your weaponry for battle and honour?”

Anthony blinked and focused on the prince. He was eyeing him earnestly, genuinely interested, and for a moment, Anthony thought about recounting the many times he and Loki had needed to slip and fight their way out of trouble. The many times he had been proud of his friend when Loki’s seidr and quick thinking had saved their lives. But it felt... _wrong_ to speak of his times with Loki when Anthony knew the prince (and most of Asgard) did not revere Loki’s magic and talents the way that Anthony did. It felt _wrong_ to sit with Thor during a courtship, no matter how doomed, and talk about the only man who would ever hold Anthony’s heart.

“No,” Anthony answered quietly, “I don’t use my weapons as you have. I spend my time in my forge, perfecting my craft.”

Thor nodded firmly, oblivious to Anthony’s lie. “You have chosen wisely. You are a maker of weapons; I am a defender of the realm. You wish to fulfil your obligations and create grand weaponry for Asgard’s warriors.” His eyes seemed to brighten, his respect for Anthony growing, bolstered by his own words. “Your choice is a fine one, an honourable one!” He grinned. “But that does not mean you should not have the joy of triumphing in battle!” Thor’s hand suddenly came forward, squeezing Anthony’s own. “I will have you join me on my next quest! We shall fight together on Asgard’s behalf. I will have Asgard see the fine warrior and forgemaster I have at my side! All will know the honourable Aesir I have found and the man I now court!”

“I, uh, er,” Anthony stuttered out, his mind blanking on what to say to that declaration.

Thor was speaking about their future, about their _courtship_ as if it was a foregone conclusion. He believed that they would travel, fight and _be_ together where Anthony was already planning to remove himself from the other man’s courtship the moment that he was able.

“Thor,” Anthony began, his voice low as he leant closer in order to be heard, the prince doing the same until Anthony was far closer to the other man’s face then he ever wanted to be. “I-”

But he was interrupted when he saw something out of the corner of his eye, he jerked back instinctively and Thor did the same, a tankard flying through the air where their heads had been before smashing against the wall.

They both stared at the shattered ceramic for a long moment before the sounds of overturned chairs and breaking wood was heard. They turned to find the tavern in the middle of a brawl; men were throwing punches, slamming items over each other’s heads and rolling over tables.

 _What in the **Norns**?_ Anthony thought, completed shocked by the display.

“What is the meaning of this!?” Thor bellowed, but he went unnoticed. He let go of Anthony’s hand and stood, glaring at the fighting men. “They dare to interrupt our evening?!” 

“Thor,” Anthony hurried to stand, coming around to quickly touch the prince's shoulder and try to hold him back, well aware of the other man’s temper. “I’m sure it was not there intention to strike at us. Whatever their fight concerns-”

“It now concerns _us_ ,” Thor declared, interrupting Anthony and turning to him. There was anger in his eyes still, but there was also adrenaline and the lust for a good fight. He cupped Anthony’s neck and promised him. “We shall remove those who started this brawl and continue our meal.”

Anthony opened his mouth to protest, but he had no chance as Thor was suddenly turning away and charging into the mess of fighting Aesir. It made Anthony groan, but he knew he had little choice but to follow. The Crown Prince had given him an order, and he had no other option but to obey and to dive into the fray.

* * *

They managed to subdue the fight and bind the three drunken Aesir who had caused the brawl, but after the success of victory, Thor’s mood had improved and he merely asked for someone to cart them home and keep them from further trouble.

The owner was grateful for their assistance and apologetic for the disruption. Thor had waved the man’s words away, but unfortunately, due to the cook being injured and most of the tables destroyed, it forced Thor to concede to ending their evening.

He led Anthony back to his forge, using the walk to praise Anthony’s fighting ability, quick thinking and ability to understand and follow Thor’s orders. Anthony resisted the urge to tell him that Thor’s orders were simplicity itself after learning to understand _Loki’s_. He also resisted the urge to tell the prince that Thor's plans were far stupider than his brother’s. Anthony settled for something faintly complimentary and tried not to sigh when Thor only looked proud over the backhanded praise.

When they finally reached Anthony’s forge, Thor was quick to secure his second outing with the weaponsmith, wishing to take Anthony riding the following morning. Anthony had agreed absently, grateful that it would happen in the morning, thereby giving him the rest of the day to work on his commissions in peace. 

Anthony was _not_ prepared for his agreement to prompt Thor to take his hand and kiss the back of it. It made Anthony stare down at the other man in a mixture of disbelief and faint horror, but it didn’t last long, not when he heard the sound of glass breaking and snapped his head to the side. Thor too straightened to try and see what had caused the noise, but there was nothing and no one around, and in the end, the prince bid him goodnight with a bow before departing.

Anthony stared after him for a long moment before turning on his heel, unlocking his forge and stepping inside. Closing the door, he tilted his head back against the wood the moment he could and closed his eyes.

 _One down_ , he thought, _two to go._

Anthony just hoped that when he was finally able to reject Thor and put this mess of a courtship behind him that he could go and see Loki and be welcomed into the mage’s rooms. He hoped that they would both apologise for spitted, angry words that neither of them had meant. Anthony also desperately hoped that when Thor wasn’t coming between, they could go back to the friendship that they had shared since childhood. 

Because even if it wasn’t everything that Anthony wanted from Loki, their friendship was still something that he cherished.

* * *

Their next outing found them at the royal stables. Anthony didn’t have a stallion, but he did have a familiarity with one of the royal mares, Léttfeti. She was often given to visiting diplomats from other realms, but whenever Loki wanted to go riding with Anthony, he always arranged her for him.

When they arrived at the stables, the grey mare whinnied at him and Anthony came over to her with a smile, stroking her neck and letting her press a nose into his hand.

“She is fond of you,” Thor announced, sounding surprised. 

“I’ve visited here before,” Anthony swallowed, debating it for a moment before quietly admitting, “with Loki.”

Thor blinked. “I was not aware you still knew my brother.”

Anthony tried not to roll his eyes. “Yes, we have remained friends since childhood.”

He let out a loud laugh. “I had known you were at court, but not that you still spent such time with Loki.” He grinned. “A wonderful surprise!” He clasped Anthony’s shoulder. “Now there shall be no excuse! You must come on the next quest we undertake! I will be happy, knowing it will not be only my eyes watching you, but Loki’s as well.”

Anthony’s smile only felt more strained. “It sounds like a grand adventure, Thor.”

“That it does!” Thor squeezed his shoulder before letting him go. “But for now, we shall ride!”

Anthony let out a heavy breath once Thor was out of earshot and on the way to collect and saddle his stallion. Leaning close to Léttfeti, Anthony lightly rested his forehead against the mare's. His voice was so soft a whisper that some of the words didn’t even form sounds as he quietly pleaded, “ _Norns, please save me_.”

But there was no reply from the deities and Anthony made himself pull away and begin to prepare the horse for their ride. 

He was the first to finish and Anthony led Léttfeti further inside the stable to find Thor. He was waiting by the royal family's stalls, watching as an attendant prepared his stallion. Loki, Anthony knew, always did it himself. It was a comparison that only further highlighted the stark difference between the two brothers, and it had his eyes, almost unwittingly, drifting to the stall that housed Loki’s own stallion, but Anthony was brought up short when he found it empty.

Thor must have noticed his confusion and he abruptly explained, startling Anthony; “Loki is in a foul mood. I do not believe the spell he was attempting has worked to his satisfaction.” Thor shook his head fondly. “He is likely in need of some time away from the palace. I think it a wise decision for he has looked distracted and he has snarled the last three times I have attempted to speak to him.”

Anthony tried not to wince, knowing that it was unlikely to be the spell that had caused Loki’s anger, but rather the argument they had shared the last time they had spoken. Anthony knew that, no matter how unwillingly, Loki would be furious that Anthony was spending any of his time with Thor.

“But, enough of my brother!” Thor decreed. “We shall enjoy a fine ride throughout the beauty of Asgard!”

His words were followed by the servant giving the stallion one final, hurried check before handing over the reins. Thor barely even nodded at the servant before he was leading out his stallion and Anthony was falling into step behind him. When they exited the stables, the sun was bright and shining and Anthony tilted his face into it for a moment, sucking in warmth and strength before moving to climb into the saddle. 

Thor was already mounted and he encouraged his stallion into a light trot; so at odds with Loki who would smirk and wink at Anthony, giving him almost no chance to react before he and his stallion were off in a burst of speed, leaving Anthony to laugh and chase after him in a daring race that made them rush with adrenaline and joy as they pushed and challenged one another; feeling their horses thrive on the thrill as much as they did. Léttfeti even seemed unhappy by the change of pace, the mare making a discomforted noise as she was forced to move at the unusually slow pace. Anthony just gave her a soothing pat. _I know; I wish it was Loki too._

Thor took the time of their slow journey from the stables to speak about his favourite riding tracks and the many places he had ridden on other planets. Anthony listened with only half an ear, responding when needed, but the rest of the time, his attention was on the fields around them and the memories of slow rides back to the stables with Loki; laughing, teasing and discussing the latest tome they were studying.

When they reached the more open terrain of hills and valleys, Léttfeti started growing impatient, wanting to gallop, wanting to _race_ the way that she always did when Anthony was with Loki, and this time, Thor was not oblivious to her behaviour.

“Ah, she is not content by our slow pace.” He was grinning and his eyes sparked with challenge, an expression remarkably similar to Loki. “Do you wish to ride harder, Anthony?”

It was an offer Anthony could not resist. He grinned widely and for the first time all morning. He took a better grip on the reins and quipped, “I thought you would never ask, Thor.” His smile became more of a smirk, his expression full of tease. “Let’s see how good of a rider you are, prince.”

Thor look delighted, he also gave a bellowing laugh, but Anthony was already giving his mare the permission and encouragement she needed to fly forward, breezing past a canter and into a gallop that had Anthony laughing with joy at the feeling of wind rushing past him before the impact of her first jump.

It was wild and freeing, and for a few minutes, Anthony even forgot that it was a different prince beside him than the one he wanted.

But Thor soon reached his side, uncaring of the danger, exertion or divide of concentration as he shouted, “You are a fine rider!” He laughed. “I know why Loki has brought you to the stables! You race him!”

Anthony could only smile with teeth, his eyes on the terrain in front of him even as he agreed, “And I now I race you!” He glanced to the side only briefly to ask, “Are you going to prove yourself better than him, Thor?”

The words had barely escaped his mouth, the challenge striking to life between them when a loud _crack_ of thunder echoed across the suddenly darkening sky. It wiped the amusement off their faces and had Anthony quickly pulling up his mare, Thor doing the same as well. Their horses had barely stopped when the clouds abruptly opened and water cascaded down on top of them in a sudden downpour, drenching them from head to toe. 

Anthony brought up a hand, wiping hair from his forehead and trying to keep water out of his eyes. “Thor?”

“It is not I,” Thor announced, squinting up at the clouds, uncaring of the rain landing on his face. “And the rain does not wish to be swayed; Asgard must be in need of the storm.” Thor let out a sigh and turned back to Anthony with a disappointed expression. “I’m afraid we must return to the stables and complete our challenge another day.”

Anthony nodded, not wishing to risk either his life or the life of the horse. Lightly stroking her wet mane, he apologised softly, “Sorry, Léttfeti. We’ll have to ride another time.”

She just flicked her head but whether it was in response to him or due to the rain, Anthony didn’t know. He did carefully start to turn her as he and Thor made their way out of the grassland and towards the nearby road that would take them to the city and royal stables. 

It was a soggy, cold and windy ride back that was filled with little conversation as they found it harder to hear one another over the strengthening storm. And although a part of Anthony was grateful for the second, abrupt ending of their outing, another part of him was disappointed he hadn’t been able to ride for longer. He missed it more than he cared to admit when Loki wasn’t in the mood to ride and lend him Léttfeti.

When they reached the stables, Anthony waved off Thor’s attempts to have the servants tend to the mare, choosing to look after her himself. It found Thor watching him curiously from outside the stall. It also found the prince talking to him as he tended to the horse; drying, warming, cleaning and grooming her. 

The prince’s questions had Anthony admitting that he’d ridden her on and off for the past few decades. She was only a young mare and at fifty years old, Léttfeti still had a good few centuries before she would need to retire. Anthony actually found himself warming to the conversation as they continued to talk, comparing horses, riding methods and some of their youthful failures when learning to ride. 

It was as he was giving the mare a final affectionate brush down that Thor spoke into the quiet that had fallen.

“The more I know of you Anthony, the more you impress me.” Anthony had paused his brushing of the mare's coat to look over at the prince. “You are kind, you are caring, and your honour and commitment do you great justice.” He was nodding slowly and thoughtfully. “It is why, I have decided, you should be rewarded.”

“I really don’t think-” Anthony began to protest, but the prince kept speaking.

“This mare," he gestured at Léttfeti, "from this day, she shall be yours.”

If the brush hadn’t been strapped around his hand, Anthony was sure he would have dropped it. “... What?”

“She has great affection for you, and you have great affection for her. This mare shall be yours; I shall see that it is done.”

Anthony swallowed thickly. “Thor... I, I have no means to stable her and she is a prized royal mare. I appreciate your generosity, but I could not possibly accept-”

Thor was already waving him off. “We have many mares, we can always gain more. She shall remain stabled here, and you may visit and ride her whenever you wish. She is a gift and my servants will tend to her as they do my own stallion.”

Anthony dropped his hands entirely from the mare and moved to step closer to the prince, still shaking his head. “Thor, I _cannot_ accept such a gift. I... we are only just courting... we could cease in a moment. I cannot-”

Thor’s hand landing heavily on his shoulder stopped his words, but the prince was smiling. “This is not a gift of courting, Anthony. This is a gift that will remain yours no matter what may become of us in the future. I give rewards to those I consider worthy of them. This reward is yours.” Anthony opened his mouth to protest, but Thor told him firmly, “I will not have further argument on this subject, Anthony. It is my decree that she is yours from this day forward.”

Anthony felt overwhelmed and disbelieving and also incredibly _grateful_. He was such a mess of emotions that he didn’t know how to express or respond. He ended up just whispering a heartfelt, “ _Thank you_.”

Thor smiled at him, warm and fond, and before Anthony could react, the prince was bending close and pressing his lips to Anthony’s cheek with a rough scrap of facial hair and affection. It was only for a few seconds before he stepped back. “I will leave you to the tending of your mare, Anthony," Thor told him. “And I will meet you at the barracks courtyard in the morning for our next outing.”

Anthony could only nod; still feeling mystified by the gift and slightly uncomfortable by the kiss, but Thor simply turned on his heel and left the stables. Anthony stared after him until a nudge in his back from Léttfeti startled him into turning around.

He looked at her, _his mare_ , and felt terribly conflicted over what he was going to do.

Thor had gifted him a horse; a beautiful royal mare that Anthony had always been incredibly fond of, yet, one act of generosity didn’t miraculously change Anthony's mind or his heart. A startling kiss on the cheek from Thor didn’t make Anthony feel anything but discomfort. The spark of challenge and an enjoyable conversation with the Crown Prince didn’t make Anthony love or want his mercurial, trickster prince any less. 

Two outings with the man didn’t make Anthony anymore willing to accept Thor’s courtship, when it was still only Loki that he loved.

* * *

Anthony spent another hour with Léttfeti, still unable to fathom that she was _his_ and trying to come to terms with Thor’s actions.

The truth was, he felt... _guilt_. He had never intended to lead the other man on and knowing the Crown Prince’s history with his conquests, he had assumed that Thor would shrug off the rejection and move on to the next Aesir to catch his eye.

But Thor’s actions, his growing affections... it left Anthony feeling shameful and uncomfortable. Thor said he was honourable, but he was anything but. He was lying to the prince, simply waiting until he could take the easy road and reject the man’s courtship with ease, without care and without any need for an explanation.

It was cowardly, and Anthony knew he couldn't go through with it.

No, Anthony knew what he needed to do, but it just didn’t make it any easier.

When he saw Thor at the barracks courtyard, he would confess the truth to the prince. He would explain that he couldn’t continue courting Thor, that he couldn’t _accept_ Thor, because he was in love with another. Thor might request the name, he might even seek to prove himself a better prospect, but that was one secret that Anthony would never divulge. Norns and Thor damn him for it, but Anthony would take his love for Loki to the grave. While it could be dangerous to risk offending Thor, Anthony simply _couldn’t_ risk offending and losing Loki.

It was a decision that found Anthony at the barracks courtyard early in the morning. He hadn’t eaten, he'd barely slept and he was nervously fidgeting with his outfit and with his hands. A small part of Anthony could appreciate the irony that, were another Aesir to see him now, they would likely think him eager to see Thor - but all he felt was anxious and faintly terrified over what he was about to do.

“Anthony.”

Jerking, Anthony spun around, feeling his heart both race at seeing Loki, and ache after knowing how they had left things. Loki also looked... pale. There was none of his usual confidence and arrogance as he stepped forward until the mage was only a few feet from him.

“Loki,” Anthony murmured, unsure what to say, but feeling a wish to just press close, to touch the other man and soak up the comfort he always felt around the mage.

Loki, however, looked anything but comforting or at ease as his troubled eyes held Anthony’s. “I need to speak with you before you see Thor.”

Anthony blinked. “Did Thor tell you he was meeting me here?” The mage’s eyes didn’t move from his, but there was a certain flicker within them that Anthony knew after centuries around him; it wasn’t quite guilt, but more a skittishness at being caught out. It was something that let Anthony know that his guess was incorrect, but that whatever the truth, Loki believed that revealing it would find him in trouble. “Did you... follow me?”

Loki didn’t answer the question, instead his green eyes fell from Anthony as he spoke; “This is your last required outing, this is when you may reject Thor or...” Loki’s paused and his lips twitched uncomfortably, his voice filling with an additional tension as he continued, “or you may _accept_ him as a true suitor.”

Anthony nodded slowly, still puzzled by the other man as he agreed, “...Yes.”

Loki pressed his lips together and closed his eyes as if summoning strength. When he opened them again he looked nervous and unsure but he still roughly bit out three words; “Don’t accept him.”

Anthony felt... more things than he could count at that declaration; exasperation, longing, hope, frustration, want, _hurt_. He forced all of them down by clenching his jaw and breathing evenly. When he knew his voice would come out smooth, he told the prince, “You cannot dictate who I choose, Loki. I told you this when we were children-”

“No,” Loki harshly told him, stepping closer and hesitating for a moment before reaching out and very carefully taking Anthony’s hand between his own and holding it in the air between them. Anthony’s eyes widened and his heart lurched at the gesture. “Don’t accept him.” Loki licked his lips and when he spoke, his voice was painfully raw. “Accept _me_.”

Anthony’s gaze jerked up to Loki’s face. The mage's breath was coming out almost shakily and his green eyes were overflowing with desperation, need and _fear_. 

“Loki...” Anthony whispered, unsure what else to say, unable to form _words_ over the sudden pounding of his heart.

“I never knew,” Loki said roughly. “I didn’t realise what you meant to me until you were slipping from my side.” He gritted his teeth and looked away. “I didn’t realise what I would _lose_ until someone else started to take it from me.” He closed his eyes. “I didn’t realise I had been denying how much I cared for you for the better part of a century.” He barked out a bitter laugh. “What a fool I was. What a fool I _am_. I have you and I push you away. He courts you and he gives you the mare I never noticed you wanted.”

Anthony’s eyes widened. It suddenly seemed so unbelievably obvious. “You were watching us,” he murmured, “You were responsible for the storm and for the tavern brawl.”

Loki hunched his shoulders, unable to hold Anthony’s gaze. “I didn’t want you to be with him,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to grow to like him, to realise that he was a...” he winced painfully, “ _better_ choice.”

Abruptly, Anthony’s words from days ago came back to haunt him: _perhaps I have spent centuries with you only to realise upon three outings with Thor that he was all I wanted and needed._

“Loki...”

“I can be a better suitor,” Loki whispered desperately, pulling Anthony’s hand close until it rested against Loki’s chest. His expression was earnest, his need palpable as he took his only chance to stop his brother’s courtship. “Allow me three outings; don’t say yes to him yet. Allow me a chance, Anthony.”

Anthony looked at Loki's wide, frantic eyes, feeling adrift, too shocked to know what to do with himself. “You think I’m here to say yes to Thor?”

Loki’s eyes dropped to where his hands still clasped Anthony’s. “Why would you not?” Loki answered, sounding wretched. “He is the Crown Prince. He is Golden Thor and you are already starting to become fond of him.” He let out another shaky breath. “I know I am a second choice at best, and yet, you have chosen me before.” He eyes darted up hopefully, his smile a tentative attempt that couldn't be maintained. “Perhaps you will allow me a chance to win you?” He swallowed, his words a whisper. "Please, tell me I'm not too late, Anthony."

Anthony couldn’t stop the way he smiled; slow, soft, amused and fond. He was relieved and happy, disbelieving and grateful. He brought up his free hand and let his fingers touch Loki’s cheek, feeling the mage instantly lean into his touch.

“My Loki,” Anthony whispered, “you have _never_ been my second choice, you have only ever been my first.”

Loki’s eyes had fluttered shut, but he snapped them open, green eyes sharply holding brown as he whispered, “Even in this?”

Anthony gave a soft chuckle. “Do you know how hard it has been, Loki, to sit through outings with Thor, knowing that I was in love with his brother?”

The laugh Loki let out in response sounded painfully relieved, but before Anthony could react, Loki was leaning forward and kissing him. It was a gesture full of longing, affection and so much delight. Anthony could only kiss him back, pressing in closer and losing himself to something he had desired for more decades then he could count.

Anthony felt as if his heart might burst, as if he could erupt with pure joy - but the sound of steps on the courtyard marble made them both jerk apart. Anthony’s eyes went wide with horror, panic sweeping through him as he watched Thor walk towards them with a stony, unreadable expression.

He felt Loki grip him tighter and ever so slightly shift himself to better stand as a barrier between Anthony and Thor.

“Brother,” Loki started, his body tense and voice wary, “I-”

“This is why you have you been angry with me, Loki,” Thor summarised before glancing at Anthony. “This is why you have resisted me, Anthony.”

“I am sorry, Thor,” Anthony whispered, regret and apology in his voice. 

But unlike the famed uncontrollable and unreasonable rage that they were both expecting Thor simply... smiled. It was a small, gentle thing as he took the last steps closer and lightly touched them both on the shoulder.

“What man am I to oppose a love so bright and heartfelt as this? Brother,” he held Loki’s eyes, “you had only need tell me and I would have stood to the side, for he is more yours than he ever was mine.” He turned to Anthony. “And Anthony, you were in a position of great difficulty, and I understand why you behaved as you did. I would have preferred that you told me, so that I may have helped you in any way that I could.” He squeezed Anthony’s shoulder. “But you are a man of values and pride. A man I would still wish to know more,” his grin widened, gaining a spark of mischief so like his brother, “only now as a friend and the most cherished consort of my brother.”

Anthony flushed slightly but Loki went far pinker as he pulled them out of the blond’s grip and growled angrily, “ _Thor!_ ”

Thor just laughed. “On the day of your wedding,” he teased, “I will make certain to recount my part in your courtship.”

“You accidental, unhelpful, _unwanted_ part,” Loki instantly snapped.

Thor merely shook his head. “I heard your confession, brother. I know I was more instrumental than you would like to admit.”

The words had Loki flushing bright red with mortification. It instantly made Anthony step forward and wrap an arm around Loki’s waist, pulling him close in comfort. It made the mage look down at him and become distracted at the sight and feel of their bodies so close. It was a new intimacy; an ability to touch without hesitance or fear of being rebuffed. It made Anthony flare with warmth and a longing to be even closer to his friend.

“I shall leave you,” Thor murmured quietly, but Anthony barely heard him as Loki's hand came up and cupped Anthony’s cheek, his thumb lightly stroking over the weaponsmith's skin.

While Thor’s steps were quick to fade as he made a rushed attempt to leave them to their privacy, it wasn’t until he was long out of earshot that Loki murmured, “He does not jest. He will speak at our wedding and take all the acclaim, regardless of what we may say on the subject.”

Anthony’s eyes widened, his breath catching. “Our wedding?”

“Yes,” Loki told him, his smile small and his voice firm. “It may not be for some time, but it is the future I want.” A hint of unease flickered through his eyes as he asked, “You do want it too?”

Pressing forward, Anthony caught Loki’s lips in a kiss while his arms tightened around the other man. “It’s exactly what I want,” Anthony breathed against the mage's lips when he pulled back. “Because all I want, Loki, is _you_.”

Loki’s smile was incredibly soft and caused his rarely seen dimples to show. He looked as happy as Anthony had ever seen him, and when that smile was pressed against his lips in another kiss, Anthony just let his own happiness rush through him.

Because, he finally had the prince he wanted courting him. _Finally_ , Anthony had his Loki.

**Author's Note:**

> Look at Thor being a damn good bro at the end! And I'm 100% certain that Thor will tease Loki and Anthony mercilessly about everything, but there's still no hard feelings. He liked Anthony, but didn't love him. He'll move on to other people in the universe and adore having Anthony as his brother-in-law and seeing Anthony and Loki so incredibly happy :D
> 
> And yes, that be that! I hope you all like the story, but especially you **Lexiee**! I did my best to follow your prompt while also letting the story write itself. Thank you for the prompt :D
> 
> p.s. I got the royal mare's name from Norse Mythology, because, why not XD


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